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The Absent Father Wound



A lot of us come from single parent housholds being raised by either a single mother or father. In some cases in the home with a father whom was emotionally detached. The disconnections from our father's can have a direct effect on your emotional well-being


The father wound is created when unresolved emotional wounds, pain and trauma are unintentionally passed down to his child. The father wound shows up differently in men and women.

When a man doesn’t heal before he has children, he will pass on his own beliefs about himself. His shame and low self worth will be projected onto his children who will internalise the same beliefs about themselves. So we unconsciously⁣⁣ start to blame ourselves for how he feels . Many of us believe that a father wound comes from abandonment, and it can. But the father wound can come from a physically present father as well, and create the same wounds as emotional abandonment


Manifestations of the father wound:

1. Self seeking sexual relationships with partners without commitment to prove worthiness

2. Distrust/rage/anger

3. Issues with authority, mistrust, resentment

4. Body image issues

5. Unconsciously seeking out approval by him or others

6. A feeling of being lost with no direction

7. Performing or achieving in order to be loved

8. Pervasive sense of shame

9. Being highly reactive to criticism


Reparenting and giving yourself what you needed as a child is paramount. Begin to speak to yourself as the father you wish you had, acknowledge the pain, and monitor your inner dialogue when it speeds up around your wounds. Our parents are human beings that carry their own wounds and that can cross over to us. For that reason alone we must heal and nurture our inner child, less we risk being emotionally detached.

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