Do you relate to having your caretakers/parents existing in a household but the presence of parental affection such as hugs, kisses, or compliments being absent? If you relate,
When you grow up in a home with an emotionally uninvolved caregiver, your subconscious programming may imprint the core belief of in safety. And what one does when feeling unsafe is go into protection mode. Being in this mode causes one to emphasise less, its the sympathetic nervous system mode, that keeps one focusing on survival of some level. Even if it’s just a perceptual thing, as long as that programming is running, it produces this output.
If you stay here you can end up in a chronic state of repression, your subconscious makes an association to feeling emotions as painful because when you were a child and tried to express your feelings you can almost feel your parents withdrawing at times or may have got punished for expressing your emotions or just wasnt in an environment to be expressive.
We get into this state of emotional repression because we are too busy protecting ourselves. An example of this would be: imagine a partner/friend is crying and in pain, heartbroken. Unconsciously, you may associate the pain with something negative. You fear getting “close” to their feelings because you imagine it as diseased. If you allow yourself the luxury of support and actually “feeling” for them, then you imagine that you are “closer” to experiencing pain, so you put up a block and become defensive or withdraw completely.
One can also become angry, if the pain is a direct affect of your actions. Then anger is a prominent emotion blocking you off from your capacity to feel warmth and empathy for others, especially people you are closest to. Instead of concern, you feel numb, you feel the need to lecture, attack, or project instead of empathizing and sitting with the pain of another person.
Can you relate to this? What are your thoughts?